| How well can you actually trust someone?
I'm kind of naive, I knew that. I always trust someone too easily.
That is why, I've prepared myself to be faced with betrayal whenever I tend to trust someone too much. It hurts so much though, when they really do betray you. So much that it's indescribable.
I know I'm being naive, I need to hang out more. But somewhere, somehow, I wish there is someone I could really really place my whole and entire trust to. Someone who would not betray me.
Is there such a person? This world is filled with selfish people, it's everyone to their own. I am one too, but sometimes, I tend to sympathize with those I really care for.
I don't know. It hurts so much, I'm actually growing up to learn how cruel this world can really be. And its eating me up emotionally. I should be more mature, I'm 17, I should be able to handle things like these. I try to though.
But sometimes, it's just too much for one person to handle it.
Maybe, there isn't anyone you could fully place your trust on in this world. Maybe, you have to fight for yourself to survive in this world. I don't know anymore. I'm trying to fix my priorities, but with all these peer pressure, I really just feel like running away from everything.
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| I don't know what to say.
I just want everything to end.
I just want everything to fade away. |
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| I need someone to speak to.
All these silence is killing me.
This funny feeling in me is eating me alive.
I know I'm just being stressed out.
But, I don't want to be ignored.
Because your silence is killing me. |
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| I've always took things lightly till now. Always thought things would work out good for me.. Always taking advantage of my mum.. Then i realize, I'm no different.. from him. It's so sad, hearing ur own mum apologizing to you when you clearly know it's your own fault. Lately, nights has been made up of tears. Time passed by so fast that I havent even thought of it as harsh. I've been enjoying too much. Reality had just crashed in. I feel so lost. I try not to give up, I'm still hanging in there, and trying hard not to give up. But part of me is telling me to give up. But I just want all these to end. |
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| Two weeks has pass. Time passes so fast. Just two more weeks here at Australia. Somehow I miss home but I don't miss home. Most of my friends have finished their graduation exams for high school. I envy them. They sound so happy and free. I wish my time would come and this new year would pass in a blink of an eye. I really hate high school to the point where I cant wait to graduate. I want to graduate with good marks though. Thinking about all of these upsets me to think that next year is a stressful year. But I guess it can't be helped. Just 1 more year to go... Just gotta struggle through 1 more year... |
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